


Bound by a Mutual Distaste for One Ardyn Izunia

by Cumberbatch Critter (ivelostmyspectacles)



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Complicated Relationships, Crack, How Do I Tag, M/M, what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 04:58:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11616360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivelostmyspectacles/pseuds/Cumberbatch%20Critter
Summary: Otherwise known as:Noct and Ravus are forced into an arranged marriage.The only thing they have in common is loathing Ardyn's shenanigans.





	Bound by a Mutual Distaste for One Ardyn Izunia

**Author's Note:**

> Thank @midori-n for this one. She wanted straight up crack and I hope I succeeded because I've written crack like... 3 times? Maybe 4? This is also my 400th story on here wow. biggest shock of my ffxv involvement writing this tho:
> 
> i thought it was silver it looks silver   
> 

“I cannot believe this… _atrocity_ has been allowed to continue.”

“Yeah, well, likewise.”

He had to resist from jerking his hand away when the music had ended, and still he rocked back on his heels and tried not to glare as Ravus bowed to him.

No one else in the great hall seemed to be at all perturbed by the less than perfect union, but Noctis was– and would remain to be– resenting every moment that he had to spend with… with… his…

“You looked great out there!” Prompto announced, and Noctis almost fell under the sudden onslaught of all of his best friend bodily throwing himself at him. “You both must have really practised!”

“Yes. Your form was excellent.” Ignis stopped next to them. “Prince Noctis. Lord Ravus. It was a wonderful sight.”

“I– _We_ are much obliged,” Ravus said, bowing his head to the man of the Crownsguard, “Mr Scientia.”

Noctis made a face; so did Ignis, but had the decorum not to make it quite so obvious. “Ignis, please. A friend of the family is a friend of mine.”

“A _friend_ ,” Noctis muttered.

“Noctis.”

“Mr Scientia was your uncle,” Prompto interrupted. “That brings up, uh, memories.”

“I seem to recall my uncle shouting at you and I after a particularly unwise bout of agility training.”

“It was already bad enough that you’d fallen from that height,” Prompto muttered, and he curled in on himself as if he could hear Ignis’s uncle in the present. “He didn’t need to be shouty. I was already terrified.”

“He was also terrified, if I remember correctly.” Ignis smiled wryly.

Noctis shoved his hands in his pockets. Ravus shifted uncomfortably next to him. He wondered if he wanted to get away just as much as he did. Probably not. But maybe so. Noct had the one blessing that this was his home, and these were his friends, so present horrifying company notwithstanding, it wasn’t too out of the ordinary.

The uncomfortableness seemed to be leeching away any of their conversation, though. That made it _more_ uncomfortable. Prompto was looking between them, and the silence stretched, and Noct was about to slouch off to find something to eat in lieu of needing to speak with anyone when–

“There’s the loverboys.”

“Gladiolus. There you are.”

Noctis thought he might have wanted to die. Forget bypassing conversation, someone just end this now. _Loverboy_. Gods knew he didn’t disapprove of being called that but anything that implied he and Ravus were at all _in love–_

“Good evening,” Ravus greeted.

Gladio nodded. “Hey. How’d the dance go?”

“You said you were watching!” Prompto protested.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“It was splendid,” Ravus continued. “Noctis is… quite the dancer.”

“Yeah, you could try to sound a little more enthusiastic,” Noct muttered.

“Do you want me to admit that you were horrible?” Ravus hissed.

“Well, a little honesty might be nice,” Noctis retorted, “since we have to go through with all of these lies in the first place.”

_“Noctis.”_

“Uh…” Prompto looked between the two intended. “Iggy taught him how to dance. Of course he’s good.”

The polite smile was back on Ravus’s face as he looked back to Prompto, and Noctis only turned away to roll his eyes to avoid further chastisement from Ignis.

“Prince Noctis.”

Now he turned at the sound of Regis’s voice, putting on the best neutral expression he could muster. “Yeah?”

“We need you both over here for a photo.”

Internally, he might have  groaned. Externally: “We’ll be right there”.

When Ravus dutifully extended his hand to him, the groan was audible– quiet, but audible– as Noct took it.

 

 

Years of parties still didn’t hope to prepare Noctis for his wedding day. Of all the people… it had to be _Ravus_ … the only good thing that came from this _union_ was their mutual dislike for each other. It was the _only_ thing they had in common. That, and the matching rings on either of their fingers.

Noctis stared down at the small, unassuming band on his finger, and then had to gulp down a mouthful of wine. Praise the Six he could drink on his wedding day. He didn’t know how he would have gotten by. That was bad. That was horrible. It was a horrible way to start a marriage. He’d had to _kiss him_ –

He threw back the rest of his drink.

“Prince Noctis.”

“Luna.” He straightened up. “Don’t think the title’s really necessary… I’m the same old Noctis.”

She smiled, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Not entirely. Congratulations on your marriage. I’m happy for the both of you.”

He forced himself to smile. “Thanks.”

“Do not let my brother disillusion you. He is a good man. I believe you can be very happy together.” He must have made a face; Luna laughed and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I believe you can be happy, at least. How’s that?”

Noctis shrugged.

“Would you have rather wed him, or have spent your life with a woman that you did not care for?”

“I _do_ ca–”

“You would have lived a lie with me,” Luna interrupted firmly, and she was still smiling. It wasn’t disingenuous. “You can have a chance at peace with him.”

He didn’t want to heave a sigh at her well-wishing, but he did anyway– and then startled when a firm hand– a prosthetic hand– took his elbow. Gods, it was going to take awhile to get used to that. Or well, not get used to it because he had no reason to, but, yeah.

“I am told we are expected to… retire,” Ravus murmured, leaning over him as he spoke. “Lest this raucous celebration continue well into the night.”

_Retire_. In other words, take each other in arm and… go… go to their room. A shared room. They were expected to spend the night together– as a married couple did–

Lunafreya actually seemed to _beam_. “Fair thee well, brother. Prince Noctis.” She ducked her head. “Have a nice night.”

She was having them on. She was having them on, and was endlessly amused by it, and when Noct glanced over his shoulder at his… _husband_ (he might as well learn to stomach the word, now), Ravus was staring after Luna with a similar expression on his face. Something like disdain, but without actual maliciousness.

They did have something else in common: they both loved Lady Lunafreya like a sister. Ravus had the bloodline, but Noct felt the same. And, well, they _were_ related now, technically speaking.

“Let’s go,” Noct muttered.

“Yes. Come along.”

“I’m _coming_ , I already said.” He really hated this guy. He was starting to think marrying Luna would have been easier. He may not _love_ her in the way a marriage dictated, but he certainly didn’t love Ravus at _all_. What had he gotten himself into. What had his dad been _thinking_ when he had arranged this?

There was fanfare to their departure. Noctis relaxed infinitesimally once they had left the crowds behind; he wanted to jerk his hand away again but for the sake of anyone they might have passed, the pretense had to be kept.

“… I do not recall where your room is,” Ravus said shortly.

And just like that, Noct had underestimated just how far this facade had to go. “You’re actually going to _stay_ with me?”

“I think it might, perhaps, look suspect if the newly married couple did not go to their room together.” Ravus was tight-lipped, but he sounded a little tired. Good. Noct was exhausted. “I’ll leave when there is no chance of being caught.”

“Oh great. So I get you in my room for however many hours.”

“Do you honestly expect I _wish_ to stay?”

“Ugh.” Noctis scrubbed his free hand against his face, and then pointed to the stairs. “Two staircases and three rooms down.”

Ravus heaved a sigh, and Noctis echoed him.

 

 

“So, _how_ was the honeymoon!”

“High Chancellor Izunia,” Ravus greeted.

He had met this guy before. On the docks at Galdin Quay, before his wedding. He was the High Chancellor? … Someone should have told him that. “Good evening.”

“Prince Noctis,” the man said, sweeping into an exaggerated bow. “How goes your marriage to our dear Ravus? I was just asking how the honeymoon was.”

“There wasn’t one,” Noct muttered.

He had had no desire to spend an entire vacation in Altissia with Ravus, and thankfully things had taken them both in different directions anyway. It was nontraditional, but his dedication was to his kingdom first. It had priority even while he was only Prince, and even over his _husband_.

Save the wedding night, they hadn’t suffered each other’s company since. That had been bad enough; Ravus had stayed for a handful of hours until most of the guests had left the Citadel. It was funny. Noct had been trying to fall asleep, surreptitiously watching Ravus as he had sat in one of the chairs and stared off into nothing.  He hadn’t trusted him not to light the room on fire or something (no, not really… probably) and he also hadn’t been used to having someone in his room. So he had laid there and pretended to sleep and watched Ravus as he had shed his jacket and tie and tugged the string tying his hair back free. It was funny: Ravus wasn’t precisely _not_ his type. He was… actually nice-looking, as far as that went. A little taller than him, nice hair, pretty eyes. (Did he just admit Ravus had pretty eyes? _Gross._ ) Figured. Noct always had a thing for blondes.

“No honeymoon?” Ardyn echoed. Noct didn’t understand why _he_ looked aghast. “How could you not have a honeymoon? Why, that is the very pinnacle of excitement after marriage.”

He shrugged. “We were busy.”

“Oh?” Ardyn leaned in. Conspiratorially. “How was the wedding _night_ , then?”

“Chancellor,” Ravus interrupted.

“Oh, come now, I’m just teasing little Noct and Ravus.” He leaned back. “I remember a particular wedding that I went to, in Altissia. I would say it was quaint, but to be honest, it was the biggest affair that I had ever seen. This was before I become High Chancellor, of course, and you see–”

The High Chancellor liked to talk.

And talk.

_And talk._

“–  oh dear, and I’ve gone on for _ages_ ,” he said, eventually, when Noctis was all but sagged into his chair and Ravus well into his cup. “I do hope I haven’t bored the happy couple.”

“Not at all–”

“–not at all.”

Noct glanced sideways at Ravus.

“They’re even speaking at the same time!” Ardyn exclaimed. “How _adorable_!”

He hadn’t liked this guy before, when he had met him in Galdin, and he _definitely_ didn’t like him now.

“Chancellor?”

“Ah, no, they’ve found me! Aw, well, I’m afraid I must be off, gentlemen. It was good to speak with you and, ah, I apologize for not attending your wedding. I was otherwise occupied… trying to come to an agreement with Iedolas, the man is _so_ difficult to reason with.”

“Iedolas… wait, the emperor?”

“Yes.” Ardyn smiled. “Your dearly beloved knows him quite well.”

Another side glance at Ravus, and Noctis watched as Ravus narrowed his eyes at the Chancellor.

“Toodles for now, boys. Don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do!”

“… Wow.” He turned around to look at his… husband (still not used to it). “Friend of yours, then?”

It wasn’t the first time Noctis had seen annoyance on Ravus’s face, but it was the first time he’d seen it directed at anyone but him. Usually that little look of pure loathing was reserved solely for when Noct was in Ravus’s line of view. Huh. So he did possess the ability to hate someone besides him. Should he be _jealous_?

“Not precisely.” Ravus breathed out softly, and then turned. “I’m sure we’re wanted elsewhere.”

“Oh, Noctiiiiis~ Ravus~”

“What does he want now?”

“I was wondering if there was any cake left!” Ardyn called over the gathered people milling about.

_Cake?_

“The wedding was a month prior, Chancellor,” Ravus said as he raised his voice. “I’m afraid that you’ve missed out.”

“Ahh… Ever forgotten, I suppose!”

“Maybe try at our anniversary,” Noct supplied, and Ardyn beamed.

“Ooooh, you’re so excited for it already!”

Somehow, Noct didn’t think he would win with this guy. Ardyn turned away, and left Ravus with the same, pinched look on his face, and Noctis shook his head and walked by. “C’mon. We’ve got stuff to do.”

 

 

“How is this guy everywhere?”

“At least he’s helpful!”

“Yes, the extent of his kindness is what worries me.”

“Noct, he’s talking to your Ravus.”

“He’s not–” He sighed even as he spun around to eye Ardyn and Ravus talking nearby. He didn’t know what the purpose of this visit was and he wasn’t sure he cared to know. It looked like Ravus didn’t care to be witnessing it, either. Again with the barely concealed look of annoyance. It was… kind of funny, actually.

He couldn’t help it. “I think the High Chancellor royally pisses him off.”

“Noct.”

“I can’t help it. It’s funny! Maybe Ardyn’ll sweep him away from me!”

“That’d be horrible!”

“Would it?!” It’d be _amazing!_ He’d take the scandal! So long as it got rid of Ravus! Right?! _Shit_ , he was tired. It was too late for this kind of thing, and his sides were aching from the laughter. The very thought of _High Chancellor Izunia_ stealing away _the Prince of Lucis’s husband_ , though…

“I think Lord Ravus’s clear irritation with him would probably prevent that.”

“Why would it?” Noct spluttered. He held up his left hand. “ _We’re_ married, aren’t we?!”

Oops, he must have been laughing too loudly. There was Ardyn, waving at them, and Ravus with a glare directed at them. It might have cut steel if he wasn’t already used to it. It just made him laugh harder, really.

“Hey, Ravus. I think you need to take your prince to bed!”

The glare intensified.

 

 

“You should never go to bed angry.”

He wasn’t exactly sure, but Noct thought that he and Ravus might have sighed at the exact same time. Ardyn seemed to cause that.

“If you go to sleep thinking about a bad thing, chances are you’ll dream about it, then wake up even more upset! On top of that, you’ll be tired from a restless night and thus, more prone to blowing up again!”

“As if he knows about what he attempts to preach,” Ravus murmured, and, for a second, Noctis thought he must have imagined it. Ravus didn’t speak out of turn– didn’t speak at all, really, much less when it was just him and Noctis.

“… so you’re saying Ardyn’s never experienced true love before?” he asked, thick with sarcasm and just the slightest bit of amusement. Ardyn was still talking. Marriage advice. He wasn’t really listening. Or he was trying not to, anyway.

Ravus rolled his eyes. He rol– wait, he _rolled_ his _eyes_?

“Did you just roll your eyes?”

“… No.”

“You just–” Noct huffed a laugh. “You just rolled your eyes at the High Chancellor.”

“Well it’s not as though he’s paying any attention.”

That was… magnificent, really. Ravus’s… distaste for Ardyn finally coming out in something _other_ than muted glares. Rolling his eyes! It sounded like something Ignis would have chastised _Noctis_ for doing. But Lord Ravus, too. He hadn’t expected it out of him, really.

“Really,” Ardyn was saying. Cheerful and oblivious, as Ravus had said. “That argument is kind of lacking, isn’t it? The best part of an argument is making up, which also tends to happen in bed!”

Noctis stifled a laugh, and when he glanced at Ravus for his response, Ravus was looking back at him.

 

 

They had found further common ground: their mutual dislike for Ardyn and everything that he did. Mainly that he liked to try and stir up… any kind of trouble, and it was in those moments in which Ravus and Noctis would share a glance and Noctis would try not to laugh.

They got along when Ardyn was the topic. Ardyn and Luna (for different reasons, of course) were their common points of interest and, as months crept by, their kingdoms. Ardyn and Luna and Tenebrae and Lucis. By and large, it was mostly Ardyn that they shared _looks_ over, though.

“Hey.”

“Yes?” Ravus didn’t look up from scratching away at their accords. There seemed to be a permanent crease in the middle of his forehead. Noctis understood the frustration. He wasn’t even _king_ yet.

“Ardyn is watching us.”

“Yes, I am aware.”

“Well?”

_Now_ Ravus looked up at him. “Well, what?” he murmured, and his eyes flicked towards the Chancellor even if his head didn’t turn.

“Let’s give him reason to talk.” He would regret this, probably, and more than likely receive dirty looks from the other people of power here. But the opportunity was too great; the mischievous streak that he had somehow still managed to retain, even after the upheaval of his coming of age, betrothal, and marriage, couldn’t resist the urge to show off for their… _greatest_ admirer.

And Ravus merely looked apprehensive. “Why would you encourage him?”

He shrugged. “He’s a pompous prick but it’s funny because he won’t be able to flounce over to us since we’re all working. We slip away before he can and he’s left hanging.”

It wasn’t a _bad_ idea, necessarily. It was funny. And Ravus was thinking it over; Noctis could see the cogs turning in his head. Any reason to screw with Ardyn, right? Regret, probably. Fun in the moment, though.

“What did you have in mind?” Ravus asked shortly, and Noctis tried not to grin.

“Steel yourself.”

“Wha–”

Kissing him wasn’t as bad as he’d once thought. It was a rare enough occurrence by its own right, and mostly it was for the public eye, but Ravus _wasn’t_ a bad kisser. His response was stunted, surprised, and then hesitant but a response nonetheless.

Yeah, displays of affection were still weird.

It was worth it to look up and see Ardyn with his mouth practically hanging open with delighted surprise. It was even _more_ worth it to imagine the look that would be on his face when he tried to catch them afterwards and failed.

“Now we _have_ to make sure we leave first,” Ravus murmured, and he sounded disapproving, but for the first time in, well, maybe _ever_ since this marriage, Noctis watched as his husband’s mouth twitched towards a smirk.

“Yeah. We will. I’ll make an excuse or something. Say I’m not feeling well.”

“This is not a wise course of action to get used to.”

“Then why do you look so amused?”

“I do _not_.”

“Yeah right.” Noctis picked up his pen to continue work on the drafts. “And not I’m the King of Lucis.”

“You _are_ the King of Lucis. You will be.”

“Exactly,” Noct murmured, and tried not to smile as he went back to work.

**Author's Note:**

> also thank her for making me ship Ravus and Noctis properly. what have you done. i'm literally going to write more Noct/Ravus fic about their wedding night. no it's not smut. but keep an eye out. it'll be great. or something like that ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


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